Thursday, March 26, 2009

"I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over again, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others - the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad.


...


He could have hated her for leaving it there in plain sight, and he could have hated her for the plainness of it, a message without adornment, without any small clue to indicate that yes, this is important, yes this is the most painful note i've ever written, yes, i would sooner die than have to write this again. where were the dried teardrops? where was the tremor in the script?


But his wife was his first and only love, and it was the nature of those from the tiny shtetl (yiddish for village) to forgive their first and only loves, so he forced himself to understand or pretend to understand."


- Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer


loving someone is not only about willing wholeheartedly to sacrifice for them, expecting nothing in return but also to be able to forgive them completely.

jiLL divulged at 2:32 PM 0 Comments

Monday, March 16, 2009

JP writes to his wife,
"My sweet wife! I'm damn proud of you! You were so brave on March 5, and you are a GREAT mother! Stay healthy, and remember that Natalie and I need you! Thanks so much for our daughter! I love you!"


i'm melting.
truth and sincerity will never pass off as cheesy.
words and actions only become cheesy when you don't actually mean them.


of late, i've been receiving presents that make me tear.
i've either become a massive softie as i get older,
or i am fortunate enough to have these people in my life.
i much prefer the latter explanation.
the one who always knows where his towel is and,
the migratory kudu.


i am officially homeless in bangkok now.
packing my life into boxes again, but this time knowing that i will be going back.
nostalgia no doubt, especially when there are a wealth of memories in that apartment.
apart from the dinner parties, lazy sundays, visitors, stolen moments and reunions,
there were also the bouts of loneliness and uncertainty, its fair share of fears and tears.
i had an 'evaluation' of some sort and concluded that despite some heartbreaking events,
i did have a good year on the grand scale of things.
and thank you for those who were part of the ride.


120*170 and the magic it brings.
xx

jiLL divulged at 7:57 PM 0 Comments

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Not to jinx myself by saying it out loud, but its the truth and truth has to be cried out.
I am blessed with more than a good handful of amazing friends and here is one of them.
hear him, hear him i say.


I'm giving you this book because it needs to be done.
though there's plenty of joy, you know life's not ALWAYS fun.
sometimes life's tough, it can be a rough ride,
but know i'll always be cheering for you, wherever you stride.

You know i've got your back, wherever you go,
even when we're not together, but wandering to and fro.
if you're ever feeling low, look to this book for advice.
it shows you no matter what happens, hey, life can be nice.

Life's full of birds and dolphins and wonderful things
which say, "take off those heavy boots, let's play on the swings!
let's dance without shame to the beat of this drum,
even if others think, 'ha ha! you look really dumb!'
especially if they think that, for what do they know?
your life is your own, YOU decide how it goes."

Oh, the places you'll go!

Some day far away at the end of the roads,
we'll be be old and grey, maybe looking like toads
and we'll be sitting in rockers on a porch on the beach
with two gin and tonics within easy reach
and we'll talk and we'll talk and perhaps even sing
we'll talk all through the night about oh, the places we've been.

- A.S

my favourite nerd presented me with one of the best life lesson books ever written.
it came highly recommended and deservedly so.
presenting, Dr Seuss with "Oh, the Places You'll go!"
brilliance within a picture book.


on a different note,
i saw these lines today and particularly liked them.
the first one because of its sweet imagery and the second because it struck a chord within.
On elephants "what amazing animals, so wise and old. I bet there are a thousand stories locked up inside each wrinkle of their skin "
On a country "have the very rich and lavish living with the undernourished and neglected. it is a cocktail that tends to leave a nasty sting."


pack.pack.packing.
packing represents a beginning and an end all at once.
temporary goodbye this time.

jiLL divulged at 11:43 PM 0 Comments

Monday, March 09, 2009

wild grasping of thoughts whilst being here.
crazy drivers. better english. 2 ends of the scale - so friendly, so suspicious.
keeping eyes wide open. orientation. err on the side of caution. kick-off to end of year goal. headstands. lack of jynnan tonnyx. ah yes, hhgtg. leisure weekend breakfasts. 97.5%. decorating ideas for new apartment. each day closer.


m said 'you're getting lonely huh'
well, not quite.
i quite relish the independence to be honest, most times.
though i'd by lying if i said there isn't this space a kudu could fill.
yes, pet kudu. wonderful idea isn't it?
everyone should have a pet kudu - highly recommended!
(well until i get one. ask me again in a few months)


i've got to remember to keep it real, its not about relativity.
keep it real, keep it real, keep it real.

jiLL divulged at 9:25 AM 0 Comments

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Una palabra no dice nada
y al mismo tiempo lo esconde todo
igual que el viento que esconde el agua
como las flores que esconde el lodo.

Una mirada no dice nada
y al mismo tiempo lo dice todo
como la lluvia sobre tu cara
o el viejo mapa de algun tesoro.

Una verdad no dice nada
y al mismo tiempo lo esconde todo
como una hoguera que no se apaga
como una piedra que nace polvo.

Si un dia me faltas no sere nada
y al mismo tiempo lo sere todo
porque en tus ojos estan mis alas
y esta la orilla donde me ahogo,
porque en tus ojos estan mis alas
y esta la orilla donde me ahogo.

________________________________
Translating into...

A word does not say anything
And at the same time it hides everything
Just as the wind that hides the water
Like the flowers that mud hides.

A glance does not say anything
And at the same time it says everything
Like rain on your face
Or an old treasure map

A truth does not say anything
And at the same time it hides everything
Like a bonfire that does not go out
Like a stone that is born dust.

If one day you need me, I will be nothing
And at the same time I will be everything
Because in your eyes are my wings
And the shore where I drown,
Because in your eyes are my wings
And the shore where I drown


currently listening to: Una Palabra by Carlos Varela

jiLL divulged at 2:51 PM 0 Comments

Sunday, March 01, 2009

everyday is one day closer.
the clock starts ticking.


happy birthday to the missy
much love xx

jiLL divulged at 11:59 PM 0 Comments