"what happens in bicheno, stays in bicheno."
i bask in the camaraderie we share,
in an ideal world : there's always ONLY us.
that way i'd live on campus all my years here.
loving my dinosaur, not merely a novelty guys.
its great that daniel could immediately ask if it's a 120,
a true professional indeed.
big "mad driver" dave won $2k on the pookies??
omg such insanely good luck.
i'm glad i was in gail's car, he drives the bus recklessly safe,
if that makes sense, but anyway nonetheless scary.
the many bends enroute to st marys has left me worse for wear,
my stomach is feeling terribly tender and delicate,
it may be an early night.
out.
p.s. mr m.s, got your letter n photos! yay yay
p.p.s missy, sorry yours have yet to arrive.
waiting anxiously i am, really.
p.p.p.s king, i like our talks.
jiLL divulged at 8:00 PM 0 Comments
am i unconventional? unpredictable?
do i hide to not expose myself, leaving me vunerable, as a form of self preservation,
or am i hiding so as to shield the people i love from my instabilities and insecurities?
do i really not mind promiscuous behaviour or am i saying so as a form of protection,
from the hurt that anyone can inflict on me or anyone else really?
in that case i can safely say, i've expected it and it doesn't fraze me.
is it really ok?
often the people that appear the happiest are really the ones depressed.
you asked "are you depressed?"
can you see through me? am i depressed?
i'd like to think i'm not because i know i have people who will always be there for me.
who will not judge me for the things i do, but to love me for the person i am.
or is it the person i'd like them to think of me?
the cliche of 'life is a game', maybe it's a masquerade party.
where we put on different masks for different situations, different occasions.
a grand carnival of colourful, elaborate masks. like a carnival in venice?
don't say i'm wise, i'm only feeling my way through all this too.
i like to think i'm worldly wise and able to offer you advice,
but really i'm not. don't portray me in such admirable ways.
i'm indecisive, impulsive yet pragmatic, so afraid of losing in this game.
i want the most out of it, yet i'm not willing to get it my all.
peels my layers baby, but i'm not sure if i have a face at the end of it all.
jiLL divulged at 3:49 PM 0 Comments
pp said it's normal, but is it really?
i can't help but feel that what i was thinking was wrong, so wrong.
i feel trapped when asked what's wrong,
i want to, but i can't cause i know the answer will crush.
i don't want you to relive tumultuous times, i promised never to put you in that situation again.
my heart belongs to the sea, neither you nor he.
it is in the sky, the wind, the leave upon the tree.
on a separate note: do we ever learn that possession is never the key?
jiLL divulged at 11:20 PM 0 Comments
words to sum up things thus far,
introduction to services marketing - intense, business plan competition, cocktail party, new york tickets (!!!), radio, 3 151s, refried beans and guacamole, avocado high, departure of miss manning, glandular fever- come back soon honey, deep water running, thick and dark eyeliner- my formula to makeup really you reckon?, flooding of j's corridor, people who drink in the shower (true blue aussies mate), being domesticated with the slicing of garnishes all afternoon, my men-patting mate, prudence my lovely neighbour - miss best-dressed no less!
i am a busy happy beaver.
yes, beaver is my new favourite word.
hearting the hos!
jiLL divulged at 9:07 PM 0 Comments
will be a long week...
anticipating busy grumpy beaver.
to those whose turn is to write: I'M STILL WAITING MATE, ya keyword, STILL.
jiLL divulged at 11:58 AM 0 Comments
it is difficult not to love old friends.
who really cares where we go most of the year(s)?
in the end when we're all back together it's always the same,
just like it was before.
a very enjoyable 'farewell',
extremely pleasing and heartwarming.
i always feel uprooted whenever i return or leave.
this is home, and will always be.
there will always be elements here that cannot be replicated anywhere.
you can build a chinatown, or have little 'asias' sprouting at various spots of the city,
but you'll never have the middle aged auntie selling mee pok ask "ai hum jiao mai?"
or the tiny provision shop that sells marie biscuits by the weight, nothing prepacked.
and of course, who can ever try to replace the warmth of family and friends?
so we all get caught up in our lives, but in the end we'll still come together.
just like before.
am i actually, a closet romantic?
that, when it comes to it, i really actually wish that everything will always have a happy ending.
a grand big story where everyone lives happily ever after.
jiLL divulged at 11:06 AM 0 Comments
word of the day: SAILING!
jiLL divulged at 10:05 AM 0 Comments
my favourite little girl,
a day at the underwater world and the dolphin lagoon.
happy birthday!
jiLL divulged at 11:55 PM 0 Comments
what really kills us is our failed expectations and,
somehow, i've fallen there again.
to my beautiful girl, where meals together will never a problem,
i'm so happy that you called.
it feels like we're the girls on sex in the city,
they are so close they can call at obscene hours and be sure that there's a listening ear and constructive advice, or just plain girly comforting.
you can ring me anytime of the day love, honestly
anytime.
jiLL divulged at 7:45 AM 0 Comments