am i unconventional? unpredictable?
do i hide to not expose myself, leaving me vunerable, as a form of self preservation,
or am i hiding so as to shield the people i love from my instabilities and insecurities?
do i really not mind promiscuous behaviour or am i saying so as a form of protection,
from the hurt that anyone can inflict on me or anyone else really?
in that case i can safely say, i've expected it and it doesn't fraze me.
is it really ok?
often the people that appear the happiest are really the ones depressed.
you asked "are you depressed?"
can you see through me? am i depressed?
i'd like to think i'm not because i know i have people who will always be there for me.
who will not judge me for the things i do, but to love me for the person i am.
or is it the person i'd like them to think of me?
the cliche of 'life is a game', maybe it's a masquerade party.
where we put on different masks for different situations, different occasions.
a grand carnival of colourful, elaborate masks. like a carnival in venice?
don't say i'm wise, i'm only feeling my way through all this too.
i like to think i'm worldly wise and able to offer you advice,
but really i'm not. don't portray me in such admirable ways.
i'm indecisive, impulsive yet pragmatic, so afraid of losing in this game.
i want the most out of it, yet i'm not willing to get it my all.
peels my layers baby, but i'm not sure if i have a face at the end of it all.
jiLL divulged at 3:49 PM 0 Comments