i'm sorry i was not exactly myself yesterday,
feeling totally off and detached.
to my surroundings and to you.
was not particularly overjoyed that you called,
though i normally would have been smiling like crazy.
maybe it's been too long since i last met you,
but that's quite a dumb reason rite.
you were perpetually on my thoughts yesterday,
so the phonecall should have been good right?
but WHY not?
maybe cause you started the conversation sounding like you were talking to your collegue?
or maybe cause hearing your voice makes me miss you more?
and in actual fact, i want to see you and not just hear your voice anymore?
i don't like to be emotionally dependant on you.
on anyone.
but hell, it's happening ain't it.
mark told me yesterday that it's ok to be emotionally dependent.
he said humans are not solitary creatures.
we can and need to be emotionally dependent on some things,
or in this case, some people.
we are not lone pillars of society,
we are inevitably intertwined to each other,
each caught in each other's webs.
but how about the vulnerability one would experience?
the lost feeling one would feel if one such dependence should ever fail.
he said "you just got to give it a shot [you got to trust them]"
i hate giving my heart away, for fear it'll return broken.
jiLL divulged at 1:02 PM 0 Comments